Parenting Advice From Your Own Kid
The Time I Was Slapped in the Grocery Store
I was just scolded by my older child for the way in which I parent the younger child. It is not the first time this has happened. It won’t be the last. This is something I was not prepared to handle as a parent. Is there a parenting book with a chapter on this? What would that chapter be titled?
Too Big For Your Britches
When Your Little Shit Thinks They are a Big Shit
The thing is that I remember doing the same thing. And, I’m the baby of the family! But, I had definite opinions of the choices my parents were making in regard to one of my siblings. And, I was not shy about telling my mother about them. I’m sure my father heard some of my complaints, but I saved the rants for Mom.
History is repeating itself.
I asked Kid #1 tonight, “Why don’t you talk with your dad about this? I’ve heard your complaints. They have been registered. If you need to continue to talk about it, tell your father.”
The reply?
“I’m talking to YOU because you are the one letting it happen!”
Oh my goodness.
To be clear, what I am “letting happen” is simply allowing Kid #2 to hang out with a BFF. That BFF is a little bit older (not as big a difference as between Hubby and me!) and apparently this relationship has Kid #1 worried sick.
So, what do parents do when they are parenting just fine, but their kids won’t stop nagging them about it?
My mother slapped me.
I deserved it. Don’t get in an uproar about it, please. She is one of the best mothers ever and is kind and sweet and good.
On this particular day, I was giving her a REAL TALKING TO in the car on the way to the grocery story. I was likely around 15 years old. I knew absolutely everything there was to know about absolutely everything there is to know about. This included parenting an adult child learning to manage mental illness.
Maybe there is a book on all of this, but since I’ve purchased just about every single parenting book in the whole entire world, I really don’t think there is. Kid #1 has no idea the conversations that occur between myself and Kid #2. Kid #1 has no idea the decisions Hubby and I have made together. Kid #1 has no idea.
When I think back and see my 15 year old self talking to my own mother like she was a child, explaining how SHE SHOULD do this and SHE BETTER do that, I cringe. I know my kid will cringe one day too. That doesn’t mean it is easy to take today.
I followed Mom into the grocery store to continue my ranting about her parenting skills. I was saying some pretty terrible stuff about my sibling and about her personally. And, I imagine I was not being quiet about it either. This was no way to keep up appearances!
I have no idea what I was saying specifically. I do know it was something just awful and I crossed a line with my poor mother. Now, I have better perspective of what she was going through at the time. The pain, the anguish, the constant worry and trying to figure out the best care for her child. Can you imagine? While going through all that, your baby starts rebuking you like you are a four year old caught in the cookie jar?
I was walking behind her. I imagine she was doing all she could to just ignore me while getting the family some groceries. But, I wouldn’t let up. I followed her down the aisle, barking my complaints at her until I said one final and terribly hurtful thing so she spun around, without thinking, and backhanded me across the face.
The scolding ended there. I shut up. It shouldn’t have taken being slapped to do it. And, no, she shouldn’t have slapped me. But, parents are human too. And, I deserved it. I just would not give her a break. On that day, being slapped was probably the ONLY thing that was going to shut me up.
